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Love Island: The Final – follow it live!

So what was it that we all used to do before Love Island? How exactly did we spend each night of the week, if not watching a bunch of inexplicably ripped young men try and crack on with a variety of bikini-clad women? Perhaps we read Tolstoy, or pondered the big questions of theoretical physics, or maybe we simply met real life people for a beer. Whatever it was, it sounds boring, a complete waste of time in comparison. Because this year’s Love Island has undoubtedly been one of the TV smashes of the summer, and we are all going to feel its absence when it’s gone.

But it’s not over yet. We have one more episode to go – a whopping 95 minute special – before we wave goodbye. And in that time we get to see which of the remaining couples are deemed loved-up enough to scoop the £50,000 prize money. Will it be Kem and Amber who’ve (sort of) stuck together from the start, despite the fact their relationship began with Kem throwing a pillow at Amber because she admitted to once sleeping with more than one man in a night? Will it be Chris and Olivia who have spent most of their time in the villa hating each other yet seem inextricably bonded by their shared talent for saying “yeaaaahh” in a whiney manner? Will it be Camilla and Jamie, who have positioned themselves as the show’s Great Intellects on the grounds that they have both read at least one book and one of them cares about refugees? Or will it be Marcel and Gabby, who should really have been disqualified from entering on the grounds that at least one of them seems to be a nice, understanding and patient person?

One thing I can safely predict is that nobody cares who wins. We don’t watch Love Island for the winners! We watch it to see which attractive person gets pied, who’s the biggest melt and how contestants go about explaining to their parents why they had sex on live TV. Tonight’s grand finale starts on ITV2 from 9pm so join us then for the ride …

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